I'm hoping that my story last night on a local support program for teen moms will shed some light on the group in Kenmore and bring the organization some additional teen moms who need help as well as some tangible and financial support. You can learn more about the program by reading about First Glance.
Still, after spending a couple of afternoons watching more than a dozen young ladies trying to discover their maternal instincts, I'm left with one burning question: where are the fathers?
The first mother I interviewed was only 15 years old. 15! Not even old enough to drive, she was due to deliver in just days and preparing for the ultimate challenge on earth. And here she was all alone when it came to parenting. No father around to support her. She told me the baby's father was 18, attended a different Akron High School, and that he was a nice guy .. but he's not around.
How do so many young men just walk away from this responsibility? I realize that some of these dads are also an immature bunch of 15 to 18-year-olds .. but how do they see a new life in this world -- one with half of their DNA -- and not want to be involved?
This isn't to say that at least a few of the fathers of these teens' babies aren't visiting or supporting in some way, but group leaders tell me that at best, the teen mothers are relying on their own mothers for support but in some cases, they are literally living on their own.
I wish that I had the time, resources, and leverage to drag all of the fathers into their own afternoon support program. To force them to grow up just as fast as the young ladies with whom they had sex. To get them to own up to their responsibilities and be a part of a young baby's life who will need a father more than ever. To set an example for that child that hopefully breaks this cycle. I realize their maturity levels probably can't handle all of that, but shouldn't they at least try?
Maybe I'm just preaching to the choir ... but while an Akron group of young women can't hide or escape from the mistakes they've made, shouldn't their partners-in-crime fess up too?
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17 comments:
Thank you Eric for telling the story about this group of Teen Mom's trying to do the right thing. I live in the Kenmore area and have donated items and time to this very worthwhile cause. Karen Freeman's commitment to this is amazing and her team's dedication to these girls is second to none.
It is sad to say but most young men do not have any connection to the sperm that created that baby. Some teen fathers are involved but many are not mature enough and it is probably for the best they are out of their lives. These girls do have a choice, what about adoption? They can give these beautiful babies to couples who can not have children and provide opportunites to their babies that they will probably never have.
The guys do have a "stop having club" as well. It's called the "he man, woman lover's club," since it's not really cool for a guy to say he's in a stop having sex club! I can't say that the fathers of these babies are in the club, but, hopefully, we're preventing some of them from becoming teen dads. They emphasize the importance of respecting the girls and what real love does look like.
And, adoption is encouraged as a very good option to these girls. Unfortunately, nationally, less than 2% of teen moms make that choice.
I'm sure most of the fathers are out on the streets collecting the "Hood Tax"...
It is refreshing to see such dedication to the young kids of today. This group should be commended for doing the right thing and making a difference in so many young lives
What a great story, Thank you for sharing this outreach. I only hope that this helps break the cycle of teen parents, most teen parents came from teen parents and that these babies grow up to be parents when they are married and have a committed partner to raise their children together
i am a mom to one of the teen moms in kenmore and the teen mom program is an asset to these teen moms out there Karen Freeman and her band of leaders make these moms feel like they are doing right by their babies. Too bad these sperm donors out there cant accept their responsibilities to the beautiful lives they help create. Instead he decided to skip town or should i say states to get away from his.
What an amazing story and program offered to young parents. I am so very impressed at what you have done in Kenmore. Kids, no matter what need positive role models who love them for who they are and be there to set the right example. It seems like the teens also appreciate the support
Wow, I had a chance to view the video on-line after someone at my office was talking about the story. This is a program that should be repeated in other communities!
Thank you Eric for this great report. I pastor the church where the "cooking" takes place for these girls. Several of our ladies help Karen with this Teen Mom program. Our church has been very much involved with the First Glance program on Kenmore Blvd.and my Youth Pastor has been involved with it from the beginning. To visit during a week-night and see up to 150 teens off the streets and "having good clean fun" is quite exciting. The directors of First Glance, Tim and Noel, have poured their hearts into the teens of Kenmore. I "difference" is being made in many lives.
i want to ask where are the parents of the teens. these kids are certainly responsible for their decisions, but we must realize that the parents were a huge part in making them who they are. without responsible, caring parents teaching these teens right and wrong, we can't expect much. i would say the fathers are probably doing what they were taught by their fathers.
Sadly enough- stuff like this is a reminder that we live in a broken world- where the undeserving get oppressed and left behind just because a of a few mistakes. It's why atheists probably say; "Where is God? If He's there, why would He let stuff like this happen?"
But in reality- these children deserve a Father- and I think those who really understand who THE Father is will care to be parents, brothers, sisters and friends to them- that point them to their real identity as God's children.
Thankfully that community has a place like First Glance to go to, to have someone listen to them, hang out and have fun with them and just show these kids that someone does love and respect and cares about what happens to them. I wish I had something like this when I was a teen, I made the hardest decision of my life to give up my baby that even my part time mom did not agree with but I recently heard that she is a healthy and young adult who is studying to be a lawyer.
I was able to attend the community dinner in Kenmore earlier this week and many of the teens were there with their babies being a part of the community. It was wonderful to see these girls and their mentors interacting and being a part of this great neighborhood
Thanks to all who have shared their comments and who continue to support this program.
If you missed the story the first time it aired, we are airing the story again tonight (Thursday/Thanksgiving) on the Akron-Canton News at 6:30 p.m.
Thanks to all .. and Happy Thanksgiving .. Eric
Thanks Eric for running this story. Teen Mom's is just one of our programs at First Glance, all of which wouldn't work without adults who care. First Glance has been running for 7 years and every student who's life has changed is because an adult invested in them. We are so grateful for the 60+ adults who build into students lives. And you are right, these young fathers need someone to invest in them and hold them accountable as well.
This story just shows how important it is to get involved in a child's life and in this case these mentors are getting involved in two child's lives-parent(teen) and baby. It is crucial to set an example for the young people in our lives and with whom we interact with everyday. Way to go to these leaders in our community
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